ADAH BAKALINSKY ORAL HISTORY

CHRISTA WHITNEY: So this is Christa Whitney and today is January 10th, 2013. I'm here in San Francisco with Adah Bakalinsky and we're going to record an interview as part of the Yiddish Book Center's Wexler Oral History Project. Do I have your permission to record this?

ADAH BAKALINSKY: Yes, you do.

CW:Thank you. So, to start, what do you know about your family background?

AB:Well, second-hand, unfortunately. My father left the Russian army. He said he didn't like it, so he left after two weeks. (laughs) And finally got to Poland 1:00and then onto the United States and came to Philadelphia, where two sisters had come previously. And then, he, his father wanted to come, so he brought his father. And then, his mother and three sisters were left there with -- you know, like a one parent family. So, they scrambled around doing the best they could, because during World War I, there was no contact -- I mean, no mail coming from or going to the United States. So, the money that my father and my grandfather 2:00were making by doing -- they were peddlers -- none of that reached them. And that was -- that went on for seven years, 'til after the war. And then, he wanted to bring his mother and three sisters, but he couldn't meet them in Russia because he had run away from the army. And so, he met them in Poland, at the border. And then, he met my mother in Warsaw and delayed the trip back to St. Paul, where he had settled. I think there were some cousins who settled there, and they suggested that he come and settle in the Midwest. So, finally, 3:00he had the family together. And the more I think about it, I'm in awe of his willingness to go through all that. I don't know where he got the money. There must have been organizations that got -- those were the things I didn't know to ask. And when he talked about his trip, it was always how he was hiding, because I think it was -- he was feared, you know? He -- he was fearful. But when I said, "Oh, that -- it must have been so frightening." "Oh, no." (laughs) But through the years, he remembered all that. And it was a poor family. And he was the oldest of seven children and the only male. The rest were sisters. So they 4:00settled in St. Paul and my aunt said it was heaven, because they didn't have to share quarters with another family and wait for that family to finish eating before they could eat. And many times, the children, you know, were hungry. Went to bed crying for food. Yeah, it was -- was not good. And, so, to my aunt, with -- how -- didn't have a -- indoor bathroom. Didn't have hot running water. All that was added on later, so -- and my aunt had learned sewing from a relative. So, she was able to get a job right away in St. Paul -- I think it was Harris Brothers.

CW:And which side was this aunt? Your father's --

AB:My father's side.

CW:-- side? Um-hm.

AB:Um-hm. Yeah, and so, she -- and then, my other aunt was able to get some work, also. And then, she graduated from high school here. So, that's the way it was. And I don't remember ever having a conversation with my grandfather on my father's -- I know he was a peddler and he had a horse and his wagon. And -- but he -- I don't know if he thought I wouldn't understand Yiddish, but we never had a conversation. But, when my aunt -- as my treat, when she was through with work 6:00on Saturdays at noon, then she would take me to the movies and the -- would be a show, a stage show and then the movie. And my grandfather made no objection to this, because he was Orthodox, you know? He -- and my best girlfriend, whose -- they were economically on a higher level than we were. Uh, I heard him -- when I was visiting one time, I heard him tell his wife, in Yiddish, what a shame it was that I practiced piano on Saturday. I don't know if he thought I didn't understand him, but I did. And then, I thought, Isn't that wonderful? My 7:00grandfather certainly -- on Saturday, what do you do? You walk. But my aunt took me -- you know, this was my treat. And he made no objection. So, he was really ahead of his time. I didn't realize that at the time. Without any fuss, that he got into the swing of thing-- I didn't learn English. I don't know how he sold (laughs) junk, you know? Iron and -- whatever it was. But he was open to new ways. I thought that was pretty wonderful, because I -- I -- I've a niece who was, whose father was Catholic. So, she grew up without knowing any of the background of her mother, who was my sister. And she mentioned that one day and 8:00I said, "Oh, well, I'll write up something for you." Well, it turned out to be a five-year, (laughs) job. And, so, it turned out to be a wonderful book. But I got all the papers, you know, when they came on the ship. And I r-- my father had a lot of grocery stores, corner grocery stores. They would do well for a while, and then, when chain grocery stores occurred, people would go there if they had the cash. And they would come to my father's store if they had 9:00to charge. So, I remember times when I went with my mother, around dinnertime, to visit some of these people who owed us money, to see if they couldn't put some money down.

CW:Do you -- so, how much did you hear Yiddish, how much did you understand when you were a kid?

AB:I think I understood it all. It was just that I felt self-conscious about speaking, 'cause one time my grandmother said, "Oh, you talk Yiddish like a non-Jew." You know, just ordinary -- had no idea that it would affect me. I thought, oh, ah. But somebody else would have just continued talking in Yiddish. I didn't. But, it's very interesting to me, as I'm walking -- sometimes I hear 10:00myself talking in Yiddish, because the words came back, and the -- with the accent, the good accent, and it's really something very interesting to me. And I decided that I would like to learn to speak better Yiddish. And I tried to find somebody to help me with that, but there was a Yiddish club, and so I was -- then at the Jewish Center. But -- this -- this man said, "Oh, you'll learn it." Well, I didn't. And the conversations were different, and so, I was -- 11:00decided I would see what I can do through the Yiddish Book Center. (laughs)

CW:Great. Well, can you just tell me a little bit about the Jewish community in St. Paul, when you were growing up? What do you remember?

AB:Yeah, well, the Orthodox lived in the west side, which was a lower part of the city. And it's supposed to have flooded at times. Not -- but I don't remember that happening when I was living there. There are about five different synagogues for that number, yeah -- (laughs) it seems incredible. But I think the holidays were such fun for us kids, because we would go upstairs to see the grandmothers, because it was divided. The women sat upstairs, the men downstairs. And then, we would run down to see our grandpar-- grandfathers. And 12:00then -- then we'd go back up. We had so much fun. Um, and then, if we made too much noise, there was one grandfather, big red cheeks and full belly -- say, "Sha [quiet]!" and we'd all be quiet for about two seconds, and we'd start all over again. It was so much fun. And then, I took piano lessons. Started when I was eight years old. And my teacher belonged to the, um, Mount -- what was it? Mount Zion -- synagogue. That was the -- Reform. And he invited me to come, and I couldn't get over it. It was so quiet. The children sat downstairs with their 13:00parents. It was all -- but nobody was running around. And I thought, Ah, I don't like this. (laughs) I missed that -- the noise and the -- and it -- holiday was made for the children. It was really wonderful. And when we had to kiss the Torah, we'd start at one end and then race back so we could kiss it again on the other side, you know? From the left side and the right side. Yeah -- it's -- I -- I'm glad I wasn't a Reformed Jew when I was a kid, because it would be a different experience. This was such fun. It was like a party, really, for kids. And there were -- you know, even when it was -- they were fasting, grandmother 14:00always had a -- something, some food to give me, you know? Yeah, and, I think -- I don't know what it is like now. I -- I don't think the kids are g-- are going wild the way we did. But they tolerated the children. And they just let them have a good time. And if it got a little loud, then they'd tell us. But otherwise, it was just, it was like a holiday party. (laughs)

CW:Was there a particular holiday that you liked more than others? Or --

AB:Yeah, but I can't remember the name of it. It's the one where you -- they go around with the Torah, and then you could kiss it.

CW:Simchas Torah?

AB:Simchas Torah.

CW:Yeah.

AB:And I think that was my favorite, yeah.

CW:Yeah. Sounds fun. (laughs) And were there particular aspects of 15:00Jewish culture or the -- I mean, you're talking about how fun the -- the holidays were. But was there anything that was particularly interesting to you, appealing about Jewish culture?

AB:No, we had -- I -- I really wanted to go to heder [traditional religious school], but only the boys could go. So, I didn't have that. Uh, but just -- I would read the stories, you know, about Abraham and Isaac and all -- and somewhere, I got the feeling that we were the chosen people, either from hearing a talk or reading about it. And so, I thought, If we're the chosen people, then God loves us more than he loves Protestants, you know, Christians. So, then I 16:00thought, He'll show it if, on Saturday, it's a very sunny day but on Sunday it rains. And that would prove to me -- so, every weekend, you know, I'd be, Is it going to rain today? And if it doesn't but it rains on Sunday, I thought, Ah, that proves it. We are chosen. (laughs) Just -- and I always loved the stories, the Bible stories. And so, I was able to read those. But my mother, I don't remember her keeping kosher 'til much later in life. But my -- but the holidays, the Passover, you know, I loved that my aunts -- in the kitchen. My grandmother, my mother, getting everything ready for the holiday. And that was fun. And my 17:00grandmother had a stove, where -- you know, wood -- you put wood in. I loved -- I loved, uh, seeing her work there in the kitchen. And then, she made challah. And then, for the little kids, it was a small challah, with the braid on top. That was so special, yeah. So, those kinds of things, you know, come back to me.

CW:Were there particular foods that were special or that you remember associated with holidays or --

AB:Well, with Passover, yes. You know, the symbolic foods -- and what did they do for wine? But I think they had that sweet wine at that time. We didn't have 18:00-- I mean, the adults had some of that. We didn't. But I liked, you know, where you -- drop by drop that you pour it, [UNCLEAR] and then, for opening the door for Isaiah to come in, I thought that was wonderful.

CW:Yeah, Elijah.

AB:Yeah.

CW:Yeah.

AB:That -- that generosity. And then, because I remember, once in a while, somebody who was really down and out knocked on the door. And my grandmother didn't have him come in, but she fixed up food for him to eat. And I associated that with opening the door, you know? So, there was this generosity, even though everything was scarce.

CW:Yeah. Were there -- so, as you grew up, how did this Jewish culture and sort 19:00of identity change once you left your family? And what remained and what changed for you?

AB:Um, well, let's see. At first, when I was little, I thought I wanted to be a rabbi. And then I went to college. It was a Presbyterian school, because I got a scholarship, a music scholarship there. And I saw -- many of the students came from smaller towns in Minnesota, Wisconsin, and I sensed, because I was the only Jewish student there -- I just sensed a difference between the relationship in 20:00the non-Jewish setting between children and the parents, or at least the mother. It was more -- sometimes more like friends, but not a -- a mother or how do I describe it? Not as formal as -- Yiddish that I knew, or as I saw it, in action between the parents and the children. So I remember, I -- when I started piano 21:00lessons, I don't know where my mother found this woman, but she was absolutely a wonderful piano teacher, and she was -- belonged to the Reform temple and was born in the United States, and I think her mother also -- so, she was already acculturated, and I saw a difference between -- there was some -- there was more of an ease, you know, as though you're friends. Because I don't think that I really confided in my mother. I just sort of let it go. And -- and I noticed that the others that were non-Jewish -- but that might have been just the way 22:00she was brought up and the way I interpreted it and -- but she was very bright in learning from the way people did things, how to adapt, because she was -- came from Poland and was just -- she named me after the name of the nurse that she said was so very nice, so, Adah. And I just -- she learned -- I remember she learned to bake a lemon meringue pie. And she was so proud of this. This was not part of (laughs) our cuisine. And so, every time I think about that meringue 23:00pie, it -- the meringue gets higher and higher. I don't know -- (laughs) it's probably gone off the rooftop now. But she was so proud of doing that, and she was very good at watching and doing. And then, one day, she got behind the wheel of the car and drove off, just from watching my dad drive. And so -- so, it was interesting to me how she learned. And then, she took classes in English -- they had adult classes, and the teacher was excellent. I went a few times with her. And then, she would write down -- there was a -- our telephone was on the shelf in the kitchen. And if she heard a word that was not in her vocabulary, she 24:00would write it down. And then, we would use that word during the day. I'm the oldest of three sisters. So she was al-- she was always interested in learning new things. And my dad also bought me "Compton's Encyclopedia," and this is during the Depression. And the, we -- he had a -- a confectionary store at that time. So, when it wasn't busy, I would go down and he would read to me, because we lived in this apartment building and -- in an apartment and the store was on the main level there, so -- and I thought later on, you know, who -- who read to him? And I think it was just from the Bible. It wasn't any stories. And I -- I 25:00thought this was remarkable, because they both read to me from the stories, and the encyclopedia, and to give -- you know, get a whole set of encyclopedias at that time.

CW:And looking back, were there values or ideas that you felt that -- that you look back now and see that they were trying to pass onto you?

AB:Well, my mother, later on -- and she felt that I was going around with a wrong group of people, (laughs) because I went around with friends who questioned. And so, gradually, this feeling that I wanted to be a rabbi 26:00dissolved. And, you know, then you get to college, and we all had to take a religious course. One course. And I tried to bring up Maimonides, but I'm not sure that the professor knew about him. (laughs) And I was the only Jewish student there, and I could feel a difference. And I was in -- I had a job at a grocery store, a big grocery store when I went to college. And so I would always come back for dinner late. Then I had to excuse myself and I sat down. I was so hungry that day, and I started to eat some bread and butter. And then there was 27:00some meat there when I was -- and it occurred to me, I'm eating meat and -- and milk, together. For a whole week, I could not get that flavor out of my mouth. I -- I almost -- I almost went crazy. I rinsed my mouth and I brushed my teeth and -- over and over. I couldn't get that milk and meat flavor, which -- I don't know if I would recognize it as anything special now. But all that --

CW:That was the first time?

AB:Oh, yeah. So, I did learn about that, about -- you don't eat that. And, oh, little things, like I needed a button sewed. So, let's see, how did she do it? 28:00With my mother, I think -- she put something in her mouth to chew, and then she sewed it -- because she sewed it while I was wearing it. It was just a button. And that was to prevent my -- I think it was the evil eye, because she's paying attention to me, and the evil eye can see that I'm in her f-- oh, view upon -- and might harm me, because I'm getting all the attention there, and that's all the evil eye needed, was somebody getting attention and then swooping in. And the evil eye really dominated thinking. For instance, you didn't ever compliment a child. "Oh, you did a good job." But it was all right to tell a neighbor, "Oh, 29:00my daughter plays the piano so well," because people would say, "Oh, your mother talks about you all the time." And I was angry with her one time. "I don't want you ever to talk to me -- about me to your friends." But she -- (laughs) she couldn't tell me, because I would then be a victim of -- that evil eye, I'll tell you, was one of -- terrible things. It prevented mothers or parents from complimenting children. Or -- but it's all right to tell your neighbor. But not you. So, that was something that I thought was awful, and I missed hearing that. So when I had children, I complimented them. It's terrible not to be 30:00complimented when -- but you could tell they were proud of you. But they couldn't tell you that. So -- (laughs)

CW:Yeah. Well, when -- I know that your husband was also a Yiddish speaker from --

AB:Um-hm.

CW:-- from the home. So, when you had your own family, what -- what kind of Jewish home did you create?

AB:What did we do? Well, it was telling the story of the different holidays and having potato latkes, you know? And the food that we cooked, you know, the pot 31:00roast and cholent and not having butter with bread if we were having meat would -- that -- but my mother didn't keep -- I don't think she kept separate dishes at first. That all came back later when -- in her late years, she started to do that. But my grandmother was religious in that way. Separate dishes and then total clearing out of the dishes for the Passover. So, you have another set. But not really for the holidays. We didn't light candles for Friday night. So, it 32:00was just the stories.

CW:And you mentioned earlier that you've pretty recently become interested in Yiddish language and sort of seeking out opportunities to learn a little bit more. When did that come about and how --

AB:I don't know. I found myself walking, you know, looking at things. And then, suddenly, I'd hear myself say something in Yiddish. I thought, Where's that coming from? But it was in the walking. I used to also walk with my grandmother. I'd follow her to the store, and she never learned English, so she always spoke to me in Yiddish. But, you know, there was a butcher and I'd go with her. And then you'd buy that chicken on Thursday nights, and then you'd go to the shochet [ritual slaughterer] and -- 33:00and take care of that. And I do remember, one time, he killed the chicken and he said there was something there that was not kosher. So, we went back home. Without the chicken. (laughs) And she always spoke to me, assumed that I understood, and I did. But she was short and I always thought of her as a playmate, you know? I never thought about her being older. So, that was -- I have fond memories of her. She was extremely kind and, you know, wanted me to eat. The more I ate, the happier she would be. Just -- I could have eaten -- I don't know if -- ten candy bars, I think, a day. Just wanted -- I guess reliving 34:00the time when they didn't have anything to eat. [BREAK IN RECORDING] Okay.

CW:So, I'm -- sort of a two-part question. One is: what do you see as the future of Yiddish?

AB:Well, I didn't see great hopes for it, because I -- for instance, here, this is a lifecare community that I'm in. And people who came from Germany don't know Yiddish. They don't know a lot about the -- the pri-- well, they know to go to 35:00the temple on Passover and -- but they don't know the Yiddishkayt. It's missing. And so, I'm always -- and certainly, no Yiddish. So, it's, it seems so different. They belong to the Reform temple here and they go, you know -- the habit on the High Holidays. But I didn't think that there would be this interest in Yiddish, because I didn't -- I never came across it as an adult living here. The Jewish people that I was acquainted with were Reform. But there is a -- 36:00Orthodox synagogue here. And I have met some of these people. But, I don't -- I don't go to the synagogue. And so, I am surprised, really, at what the Yiddish Book Center had done. I didn't think that that was going to be possible. But if I were living on the East Coast, I'm wondering -- I'm thinking I may have had another feeling. But here in San Francisco, the Jewish community has been 37:00wonderful in supporting so many marvelous things with our parks, with the arts, music. They've been an integral part of the society. But I don't find -- there are Jews that -- what do I call myself? I don't go to the temple, but I feel connected. I feel connected and I'm amazed at how many Yiddish words are used just in everyday (laughs) English. And that's been fun. And it lends itself to that. And learning about Zionism, which I belong -- as a child, belonged to the 38:00Habonim group and -- although, when several of the people that were in the club -- they were interested in going to settle in Palestine. And, I found that I wasn't, but they went on to -- was New Jersey, there was a farm that they would practice farming, learn about it before they went to Israel. So, I wasn't -- I never went that far. But I had, I have a cousin living in Israel, she and her family. And that was on my mother's side. I don't know anything about my dad's side. He -- or my grandfather, paternal grandfather. Knew nothing about that side of the family.

CW:Yeah.

AB:So, there -- (laughs) there's a big gap. And -- my mother wanted to take me when I was two years old to Poland, you know, to meet the relatives there. But it was -- we didn't have enough money to go. And it's a good thing we didn't. (laughs) I don't know if we would've gotten out. But my dad was able to send for my aunt, my mother's sister. And the other people, relatives decided they wanted to go to Israel, so that's where they are.

CW:Well, I know -- I don't want to keep your son waiting, so -- (laughs)

AB:No, that's all right.

CW:-- so, I'd love to just ask if you -- this has been wonderful -- if you have any advice for future generations? (laughter)

AB:Oh! (laughs) Uh, no, I -- I think -- I think somehow you feel a connection, 40:00way back. It's there, and it'll pop out at different times. And you feel, Oh, I'm related to this idea. But I think having the -- the Yiddish Book Center, that is doing such a monumental job, I think, in bringing it back, the Yiddish language and history, the history. I'm not interested in, you know, these little 41:00details of being religious. That doesn't interest me except in terms of how some of those attitudes and ideas were also part of the peoples around the Mes-- the waterways in Eastern Europe. They all had the same kinds of stories about the beginning of the world, you know, and death and these things. That interests me, how the attitudes were so similar among all these people. And that kind of history I like. But I think -- I don't like this religious fervor about minutiae. And it just, I find, diminishes the broader -- the beauty, then -- 42:00because you closed off -- I can't go to this synagogue, I'm going to start another synagogue, you know? These -- how many -- how many synagogues can you have in a small community in St. Paul? It's extraordinary. I didn't know that at that time, but in -- as an adult, then, going back -- five? In that little community? And I don't know, what were the differences, if you could even see them? It's almost like a game. (laughs)

CW:Yeah. [BREAK IN RECORDING]

AB:Well, I wish I had more firsthand knowledge of -- you know, but I was -- 43:00because my mother, her father was extremely religious. And he decided to come here to this country in the East Coast, New York, with a sister-in-law. And it was -- he lived, I think, upstairs from the synagogue. He taught boys what they need to know for their bar mitzvahs. He was so religious. He didn't -- couldn't write, so somebody wrote for him. But he wanted -- I saw one of the letters -- say the prayers and read Ezekiel and then you'll be leading a worthy life. And my mother blamed him, of course, for being so poor and just that one-sided. So, 44:00she broke away from that. But, in her later years, she came to it because -- but that's why I'm sure that if he were living close by, he'd never -- he would have put up a big fight that -- for me not to practice piano on Saturday.

CW:I'm sure.

AB:It was -- it didn't matter to him that the kids were -- well, he doesn't want his children to starve, but he went in the same way -- he didn't show any growth, whereas my grandfather on my father's side did. [BREAK IN RECORDING]

CW:Well, a sheynem dank, thank you very much for taking the time and speaking with me in the Yiddish Book Center.

[END OF INTERVIEW]